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​​Are You a Dock or a Drifting Boat?

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Quick Spin:

• A simple shift that can help you stop chasing and start aligning
• Why core values are the secret to getting what you want
• How to stop reacting to life and start designing it

We are in the home stretch to the release of TOXIC GRIT - How to have it all and (actually) love what you have, coming October 21st, and I thought I’d spend this last few weeks giving you early access to some of the frameworks you will find in the book.

PS. You can pre-order the book on Amazon here.

♟️ MY TURN:

After my divorce, I felt like I was floating through life.

Saying yes to whatever showed up.
Dating whoever showed interest.
Burning out trying to do it all for everyone else.

My therapist gave me a metaphor I’ll never forget:

“You’re acting like a boat with no anchor. You just drift toward whatever dock will tie you up and anchor you.”

And she was right.
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When you don’t know your values or what each part of you actually wants - you’ll float from job to job, relationship to relationship, city to city, hoping one of them makes you feel whole.

Hoping one of them will anchor you.

But here’s the thing:

You weren’t meant to drift.
You were meant to be the dock.

A strong, steady foundation that invites the right people and opportunities in—not just clings to what’s nearby.

I called this section of the book Big Dock Energy, and I have no regrets about that.

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♟️ YOUR TURN:

Let’s build your dock.
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It starts with defining your values for the roles (or “characters”) you’re prioritizing right now.

Think about a category of your life right now (work, friendships, love, etc)....and ask yourself:

1. When was I happiest in my life in that role, and what was I doing at that time?
2. When was I unhappiest…..and why?
3. How do I want to spend my time here on earth for that role?
4. Who embodies the version of happiness that I seek and admire for that role?

Now, jot down a few values based on your answers.

Here’s one of mine for my (Partner) character that anchored that role when I felt like I was repeating toxic dating behaviors.

• I desire consistency
• I seek deep friendship and growth
• I value playfulness, trust, and fun
• I want emotional safety, not chaos

When someone walks into my life - romantic or otherwise - I now have a filter.

They either align with these values or they don’t.

This anchoring helped me to let some ships pass me by that likely would have led to a Titanic crash.

♟️ Let's Win Together.

In my book, I dedicate an entire chapter to helping you go through this exercise for each of the roles you play in your life to help anchor you in your decisions.

This month, stop floating.
Build the dock.

Get clear on what matters most.
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Name the values for the characters you’re prioritizing right now or the characters that feel stuck.

When you’re clear on your values, it becomes easier to say: “This isn’t aligned.”
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Or, “This is exactly what I’ve been waiting for.”

12 more days until this book is out in the world.

I appreciate you.

XO,
Amanda

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113 Cherry St #92768, Seattle, WA 98104-2205
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