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Fear of Success?!

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Quick Spin:

• The Q2 tumble
• The F1 Underdog
• 2 Tricks to overcome the Fear of Success

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♟️ MY TURN:

A common trope of successful people is as follows:

• Person starts as the underdog.
• Person has deep desire/need to prove themselves.
• Person works their tail off.
• Person gets so close to success.
• And then person gets terrified
• And person starts to make poor decisions.

At a recent conference, I heard Brené Brown tell a story of one of her clients who had the most successful Q1 in the history of their company. The stock price was soaring (this was pre 2025 to be clear).

She called to congratulate and said “be prepared for a terrible Q2”.

Did she have a crystal ball?

No.

She knew something else.

When you start to achieve the level of success you’ve been pushing for, you will start to operate from a place of fear.

• Fear of losing it.
• Fear of the success being called “luck”.
• A feeling of needing to prove you can keep it up.
• And the pressure causes you to make mistakes.

The F1 Underdog

Another story that resonates under this same vein….

I’m a huge F1 fan (or at least a Drive to Survive reality tv show fan). In Season 7, Lando Norris had been the underdog for years but this season he found himself within sneezing distance of being the world champion.

In a race that would have clenched the title, he led the race the entire time but then, due to intense rainy conditions, he started to become overly cautious and made mistakes.

Max Verstappen (the reigning champion) came from behind to clench the title for a 4th time.

Lando had it.

He just had to keep operating from a place of confidence in his ability.

And I feel this same fear coming my way……

Most of you know that I lost all of my money in my divorce.

Building back has been a long process of wanting to “prove” I could do it without my ex.

But now that things are actually really good, I find myself more scared than ever.

Scared I’m going to make the wrong decisions.

Choose the wrong business partners.

Sometimes feel frozen.

But here’s what I learned…

it’s not fear of failure…

It’s actually….

Fear of success.

But why would anyone fear success?

Shouldn’t accomplishing goals bring joy and fulfillment?

The truth is:

For some, these changes can be intimidating, even paralyzing.

As a result, they engage in self-sabotaging behaviors, keeping themselves in a cycle of struggle rather than breaking free and allowing themselves to flourish.

Keep reading to explore why the fear of success and self-sabotage occur, how they manifest, and what you can do to overcome them.

♟️ YOUR TURN:

People with fear of success may find themselves feeling:

“What if I can’t handle the pressure?”
“What if people expect more from me, and I can’t deliver?”
“What if success changes me or my relationships?”
“What if I outgrow my friends and loved ones?”

Which ends up presenting in sabotaging behaviors such as:

• procrastination
• avoidance
• self-doubt
• and destructive behaviors.

Instead of moving forward, they remain stuck because they know what it feels like to be where they are.

Success means unknown territory.

• What if my friends become jealous?
• What if I don’t deserve it?
• What if the expectations are too high?
• What if it’s too overwhelming?
• What if I lose it or fuck it all up?

Also, it’s important to note our childhood is a HUGE factor in how we view success.

Fear of success can come from a programming where our parents viewed successful people negatively or were resentful…..subconsciously you may feel guilty becoming one of them.

This may start to come out in behaviors such as:

• Procrastination
• Overthinking
• Missing opportunities
• Paralysis - not able to take action
• Pushing people away
• Sabotaging or picking things apart

Any of this resonating?

Here are two tactics I am using to help me keep moving through the fear of success.

Tactic #1

“The Story I’m Telling Myself” - this is a powerful phrase to remind us that feelings are not facts. Get curious about the story you are telling yourself. What is it rooted in?

Tactic #2

Smaller, achievable goals - when something feels overwhelming like “get a job promotion” or “find the love of your life” or “have a NYT bestseller” it’s important to break that down into a smaller goal. What does 10% of that goal look like?

Examples:

• Get a job promotion ➡️ Ask to present a new idea
• Find the love of your life ➡️ Find someone you enjoy spending a weekend with.
• Have a NYT best seller ➡️ Plan 10 book tour stops (reply to me me if you want to plan a book tour event)

Two quick things that can help you as you navigate the fear of success.

Let me know if this resonates!!

PS don't forget to pre-order TOXIC GRIT - coming October 21st! You will get the bonus chapter, exclusive workbook and a launch week VIP invitation!!

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