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The Power of Mimetic Desire

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Quick Spin:

• The power of Mimetic Desire
• Why it's dangerous
• 4 Changes I made to prevent mimetic desire in my life

Are you a Solopreneur looking to build a personal brand and start monetizing your passion and expertise WITHOUT burning out?

I have 4 more spots for Office Hours in November. Would love to chat! Reply to this email or learn more here.​

♟️ MY TURN:

After a dinner with friends I came home and found myself on my computer feverishly stalking Zillow, researching PRP facials, looking at summer camps in Upstate NY for my kids and preparing to invest in a new company.

4 things I had not been thinking about prior to that dinner.

This is the power of mimetic desire.

Mimetic desire is a social theory constructed by French philosopher René Girard.

Girard said:

“Man is the creature who does not know what to desire, and he turns to others in order to make up his mind. We desire what others desire because we imitate their desires.”

We don’t necessarily desire the end object itself....

we want to be like the person who has it.

Mimetic desire is everywhere.

VC herd mentality ➡️ Someone says no until they hear someone they respect is in, then they are rushing to their checkbook.

Beauty trends ➡️ No one wanted big lips until someone they admired got big lips then they wanted big lips.

Cyber trucks ➡️ No one actually wants one (please tell me this is true) but they desire to be like a person who owns one.

But why is this dangerous?

If you don’t feel anchored to your own values and goals - others’ values and goals will suck you in.

Life becomes more of a “I’ll have what their having” than a true introspection and pursuit of what you want out of life.

How scary is that?!?!

You find yourself checking all the wrong boxes and end up somewhere in your life that is a Frankenstein of others’ goals and none of your own.

So how do you stop it?

Keep reading.

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♟️ YOUR TURN:

4 Changes I made to prevent mimetic desire in my life ⬇️

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Change 1: Seeking my own opinion first

Before I fill my brain with friends or social media opinions, I ensure I form my own first. That includes pausing before texting friends when something happens.

Otherwise you will find yourself feeling what they feel for you.

Change 2: Create two lists

• List 1: Who currently influences you?
• List 2: Who would you rather influence you?

When I think about the lifestyle that I would most like to have, who do I feel most embodies it?

Instead of looking for people with the most money, coolest house or best body - I look for people in alignment, who feel connected to a deeper meaning and purpose for their life.

Spend more time being influenced by the second list and limit exposure to the first.

This led to a lot of muting on Instagram.

Change 3: Morning → Original Thoughts Only

I used to get up and scroll TikTok while I had coffee.

Then after learning about mimetic desire, I decided to try something new.

I keep a book by the coffee machine and leave by phone upstairs by my bed.

I read 1 chapter while I drink my coffee and scribble down some thoughts about what I just read.

My goal is to train my brain to form original thoughts first.

I view this tactic as building a mimetic desire defense system!

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Change 4: Deeper Meaning

Do you actually desire what they have, or desire to be like them? Once I understood the difference, I unlocked the deeper meanings behind my desires.

I’m also on a journey to creating a deeper meaning for my life.

If you need help - this article about creating values might be helpful.

♟️ Let's Win Together.

10 spots just opened in my group coaching community for November and 6 were snagged within the last week. If you're a multi-hyphenate (juggling work + life) and struggling with focus or growth, check out Office Hours.

Joining Office Hours unlocks:

• A community of multi-hyphenate solopreneurs
• Weekly live group coaching to hold yourself accountable to your goals
• Weekly live workouts to increase energy and create space for ourselves
• Monthly deep dive workshops on money, brand building, personal growth and morning.
• A highly engaged slack community to support you every step of the way
• Quarterly challenges
• Access to my resource vault of 50+ videos to grow a business and a life
• In person retreats and more!

​Ready to start leveling up?

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