- Why ambitious people struggle to let themselves win
- The Jelly Bean Jar
- 10 Free Trial Memberships to Office Hours available!
♟️ MY TURN:
Before we dive in - It's a new month which means I am giving away 10 free one-month memberships to Office Hours, Tier 2 (a $250 value) if you are ready to build your portfolio career. Simply reply to this email before they run out.
Back to today's topic.....
I remember a distinct moment during my days of building House of Wise. It was a few days before Valentine’s day and my phone started blowing up.
Kourtney Kardashian had put our Sex Gummies into the Poosh celebrity mailer.
I watched as Kim, Kris, Khloe and Kourtney all posted pictures with the product I had formulated and brand I had created.
Rather than celebrating I immediately went to my Shopify dashboard.
No sales.
No boost.
Yes I was getting a lot of buzz online but it wasn’t transferring to sales. Awareness increased, not sales.
But friends were texting.
Celebrating.
“This is huge!!”
“You must be so proud!”
And yet….I went right back to the next thing in my to-do list.
I didn’t let myself have the win.
How many times in our lives are we focused on bigger goals (in this case it was showing my investors insane YoY growth) that we can’t celebrate the smaller goals.
Some more examples:
- We don’t celebrate small movement wins because we haven’t hit our body goals.
- We don’t celebrate smaller business wins because we haven’t hit our financial goals.
- We don’t celebrate our life wins because we feel we haven't gotten to some imagined “where I want to be”.
Why does this happen?
After coaching over 50 people in the past year and group coaching over 140 people in Office Hours, I came up with 4 primary reasons.
- Misaligned Value:
We want to see ourselves as “humble” so we don’t celebrate the wins along the way.
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- Fear of Change:
Success can bring about change, and some may feel anxious about what that change entails. They might prefer to stay in their comfort zone rather than celebrate a transition that could lead to uncertainty.
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- Perfectionism:
Perfectionists may focus on what they could have done better instead of acknowledging their accomplishments. This mindset can prevent them from celebrating even significant successes.
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- Comparisonitis:
Some compare their achievements to those of others and feel that their success is not significant enough to warrant celebration. This can diminish their sense of accomplishment.
The Jelly Bean Jar
In a recent Office Hours mastermind led by Fortune 100 executive coach, Karen Wright, she talked about a tool she has used on CEOs and Executives. She called it the Jelly Bean Jar.
Whenever you do something that is a mini win on the way to your macro win - you go and drop a jelly bean into a jar.
The sheer act of doing SOMETHING to recognize a good moment in your life is retraining your brain that there are a lot more things to celebrate than just the finish line.
When they fill the jar they do something bigger to celebrate whether they’ve accomplished the larger goal or not.
A person in Office Hours does tally marks on a whiteboard near their desk.
Every small win gets a tally mark.
When they hit 20 tallies - they go out to dinner to celebrate and think about them all.
♟️ YOUR TURN:
It’s time to let yourself have a win and bring back the dopamine that has been depleted from our "never-enough" brain patterns.
If you are an ambitious person like me (and the 62,000 other people who read this newsletter) and this edition is hitting home…I want you to follow the following 3 steps.
Step 1: Make it yours
Create your own version of the jelly bean jar. It may be stickers, tally marks or jelly beans. Whatever it is, create your system.
Step 2: Small win celebrations
Every time you have a small win (send that email, take a walk outside, stop yourself from scrolling) let yourself have a win!!
Step 3: Big win milestones
When you hit a certain (realistic) number of wins - go do something to commemorate it!! Maybe it's dinner to your favorite restaurant or popping a bottle of champagne.
Whatever it is - this step is about the intentional moment of celebration of all the mini wins that have happened!
Congrats!
You are retraining your brain to be one of a successful person!!
Ps It’s a new month and I have 10 more FREE 30-day trial memberships available to Office Hours Tier 2. Want to try out group coaching, deep dives, a library of 75+ videos to build your portfolio career? If you would like to get started this month, just reply to this email! Only 10 spots available.
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