🧩 Life's a Game: Fixed Helplessness


Welcome to Life's a Game, a weekly newsletter to help ambitious people build a more meaningful and integrated life. Was this sent to you? Subscribe here so you don't miss the next one.

My Imposter Syndrome Update


Quick Spin:

  • The flea in the jar experiment
  • Overcoming Fixed Helplessness
  • A powerful question to ask yourself

♟️ MY TURN:

Real talk…..recently I’ve struggled with imposter syndrome.

My book is about to pre-launch (official pub date is October 21) and I’m nervous.

We announced pre-orders and only sold 95 books.

I found myself looping on some narratives like:

  • Who do I think I am writing a book?
  • No one cares what I have to say?
  • I’m not anyone special.

And then I remembered the flea in the jar.

This is a metaphor about a group of fleas who were put in a jar with a lid. They jumped and jumped and jumped, continuously hitting their heads.

After a while, the fleas learned the boundaries of the jar.

So they stopped trying.

Later, the lid was removed......

but the fleas never jumped out.

They no longer believed it was possible

…so they stopped trying.

This is the power of how our thinking can create limitations.

We have to find our invisible lid that is keeping us from achieving freedom and the life we truly deserve.

What is my “invisible lid”?

It’s my upbringing.

  • I’m a first-generation college grad.
  • I grew up in a small, rural town in Illinois.
  • And then I got married to someone who made me feel small and insignificant in many ways.

My role was limited to “their partner,” and after a lot of hitting my head, I stopped jumping.

Until I eventually broke out of the jar.

And realized there is no ceiling.

Our thinking conditions us to operate and live in certain ways.

We create imaginary boundaries that limit our potential.

This is also known as fixed helplessness.

But.....

  • You have the power to change your environment.
  • You have the power to change your circumstances.
  • You have the power to do bigger things.

Stop banging your head against the invisible lid.

It’s time to flee (see what I did there?!)

I'm removing the lid and reminding myself that most people we see as overnight success stories are really people who just kept bumping their head against the lid until it moved out of the way.

So keep going.


♟️ YOUR TURN:

I want to end today’s newsletter with a simple question:

Where in your life are you imposing imaginary boundaries?

Visualize yourself removing the lid and jumping out and finding more space to change the thing you need to change.

I’m removing my own lids.

I’m going big on this book.

I hired a PR agency.

I have a team helping turn the book into social media content.

I am asking everyone I know for help in getting on stages or in front of people to talk about TOXIC GRIT.

And I will keep promoting it.

Because I believe in the power of this movement.

Of redefining ambition.

And achieving success AND enjoy our lives while we do it.

If you'd like to check out my book Toxic Grit just head to toxicgrit.com to learn more!


PS - I am looking to partner with companies and organizations on my upcoming book tour. If you would like to plan a stop, please reply to this email or fill out this form.

Thank you for reading!

I appreciate you so so much!

XO
Amanda

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🧩 Life's A Game

2x Founder | Brand Builder | Creator | Investor Featured in Forbes, Ad Week, Poosh, The Skinny Confidential Over 110,000 people follow Amanda to learn how to get the most out of life. Single mom x3 Teaching Productivity to emerging Leaders via Morning Brew

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