- A quick exercise
- Our brain's original programming
- Creating your Goldilocks Rituals
🧩 Thanks for keeping Life's a Game Free!
A few months ago I decided to switch all my courses and community from Kajabi to Mighty Networks and someone recently said to me "I had no clue you had all of this!". The Mighty Networks team handled the entire migration (a service they have for anyone on another platform!) and my entire business looks more professional and upsells are easier than ever. If you're ready to start a community - definitely check out Mighty Networks!
♟️ MY TURN:
I want to do an exercise with you right now.
Pause everything you are doing.
Now I want you to think about the last week.
Recount it.
I’ll wait.
Still thinking? All good.
Oh - you’re back!
Guess what?
80% of you just focused on mostly negative things.
Things like:
- “Was a stressful week”
- “Feeling spread thin”
- “Not where I want to be”
"The holidays are stressful"
- “Didn’t get that project done”
How do I know this?
I’m not a telepath...
I’m just a student of the human brain.
The brain has a negativity bias, which is the tendency to focus on negative information more than positive information.
This bias is thought to be an evolutionary defense mechanism that helped our ancestors survive by being more attentive to negative stimuli, like predators.
However, in modern times, when physical danger is minimal, this bias can get in the way and cloud how we think about a situation.
I call this the negative energy riptide.
When we focus on one negative thing - it starts to pull everything else into it.
So what do we do about this?
How do we swim against this riptide?
Keep reading.
♟️ YOUR TURN:
In order to retrain our primal brains to see the whole picture of our day, week, year or life - it’s important to intentionally inject celebration.
In a recent coaching session I asked my client how their conference was.
“It was so great but I’m now tired and so behind on work and (negative list continue).”
I stopped them.
“What made it great?”
We started talking through the different conversations, connections, laughs, good meals, etc.
Their energy shifted completely.
After mirroring what had just happened and explaining the negativity bias and how it can affect our lives, I instructed them to create 3 celebration rituals.
Celebration rituals are a KEY part of my ability to see things as “glass half full” more than not.
I’ve literally retrained my brain to celebrate instead of ruminate.
Every person needs 3 sized rituals: small, medium and large.
The small celebration ritual:
These are the easiest to gloss over.
When something small but good happens, what are you going to do to celebrate it? To hold space in your brain to honor it?
Examples:
- Had a great meeting! Go for a 10 minute walk to think about it.
- Kicked butt at a conference? Sit at a coffee shop and replay the amazing moments.
- Felt like you had a great parenting moment? Make yourself a mocktail before bed and write about it.
Your turn: think of a small win you had this week and create a mini celebration moment to honor it.
The medium celebration:
Medium wins are bigger than small wins but not as big as big wins. Hence the goldilocks title of this newsletter.
Examples:
- Got a new client? Go out to dinner with a friend and celebrate.
- Finally launched a project? Get a massage!
- Hit a fitness milestone? Go to your favorite store and get a new workout outfit.
Your turn: think of a medium win you had this week and create a medium celebration moment to honor it.
The big celebration:
When something big happens - what are you going to do?
Examples:
- Got a book deal! Go to Scotland (ok that was mine)
- Got a promotion! Book a spa day to celebrate and recount all the things that you learned on the journey to it.
- Moved to a new place? Spend a full weekend dreaming of all the amazing things you will do there.
Without these, our brain is quick to say "on to the next!"
These celebrations will slowly rewire the brain to see, acknowledge and appreciate the amazing things happening in your life and not drown in the negative energy riptide.
Life is meant to be celebrated.
We just have to remind our brain of that.
♟️ Let's Win Together.
PS if you struggle with this and would like to soak up life a bit more, I work 1:1 with people to feel more fulfilled in their life as they build their business.
Ideal for founders, solopreneurs or those juggling high-powered roles and family. You can reply to this email and let me know if you want to chat!