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Perhaps careers are less of a ladder and more of a loop-de-loop

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♟️ MY TURN:

I have a friend who is really struggling with the decision to leave their cushion-y career to go out on their own.

Please reply if this is something you are also struggling with right now.

I’ve had quite the loopy career.

• Marketing at a Big 4 Accounting Firm
• Marketing at a 6 person celebrity wedding planner brand
• Launching a wedding tech startup
• Leading brand marketing at a public company
• Raising $2m to build a D2C startup
• Becoming a fractional CMO
• Launching a creator business
• Becoming an author
• Taking a full time job as a CMO

It hasn’t been linear. It’s been a loop-de-loop of big companies to small companies to solopreneurship to startups and back again.

But so many people are scared of getting off the ladder.

Which got me thinking....

Why do we freak out about leaving the thign in front of us for the unknown?

Because the human brain is funny.

There is a concept in behavioral science called status quo bias.

It’s our tendency to prefer the current state of affairs simply because it is the current state of affairs.

Add in loss aversion which says losses tend to feel bigger than equivalent gains (aka the loss of stability and a known paycheck feels bigger than the potential more $ and freedom), and suddenly the brain starts acting like leaving a decent job is a dangerous cliff jump instead of a thoughtful next act in the career roller coaster.

This is also why people stay in things that are "not terrible".

Not terrible marriages.
Not terrible jobs.
Not terrible cities.
Not terrible routines.

Because “not terrible” can feel safe.

But safe and right are not the same thing.

And sometimes the hardest situations to leave are not the ones that are clearly toxic.

They are the ones that are just comfortable enough to keep you negotiating against your deeper desires.

It all starts to feel very expensive to walk away from.

Even if staying is quietly costing you your aliveness.

There’s another piece here too: ambiguity.

Research on career decision-making shows that people who struggle more with ambiguity also struggle more with indecision.

Which makes perfect sense.

Going out on your own usually comes with no clean map, no guaranteed paycheck, no gold star from a boss telling you that you’re doing great.

It’s a lot of blank space.

And blank space freaks people out.

But I want to offer a reframe:

Sometimes you are not confused.
Sometimes you are just grieving the loss of the known.

That’s very different.

♟️ YOUR TURN:

If you are sitting in a job, relationship, or chapter of life that is not bad enough to leave but not good enough to stay, here are 3 questions to ask yourself:

• QUESTION 1: Am I staying because it’s aligned or because it’s familiar?
• QUESTION 2: What am I actually afraid of losing?
• QUESTION 3: Is the discomfort of leaving greater than the discomfort of becoming someone I no longer recognize?

This is the big one.

Because staying in the wrong thing for too long doesn’t keep you safe.

It slowly disconnects you from yourself.

It makes you flatter.
Smaller.
Less playful.
Less creative.
Less alive.

That is enough information to begin.

You do not need a rock bottom to make a change.

You do not need the job to become unbearable.

You do not need burnout, betrayal, or a dramatic catalyst.

Sometimes clarity is quieter.....a whisper of:

“I think I’ve outgrown this.”

And that is reason enough to explore what’s next.

If this is you, here is your permission slip:

• You are allowed to leave before something becomes unbearable.
• You are allowed to want more than comfort.
• You are allowed to choose expansion over maintenance.
• You are allowed to stop calling your fear “gratitude.”

Because being thankful for what you have and honest about what you want can exist at the same time.

Would love to know if this resonates.

Please reply if this is something you are also struggling with.

Sending hugs,
Amanda

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600 1st Ave, Ste 330 PMB 92768, Seattle, WA 98104-2246
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