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What I learned from a Japanese Tea Ceremony

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♟️ MY TURN:

On our last day in Kyoto we found ourselves sitting in a walk-in-closet-sized hut along a lake, preparing for a traditional Japanese tea ceremony. The Tea master had greeted us outside the hut and first asked us to wash our hands in a stone fountain nearby.

She went on to explain to us the origin of tea ceremonies: originating from 9th-century Buddhist rituals where monks used tea for meditation and evolved into a refined art form by the 16th century. In fact, there is still the top tea master school in Kyoto (where our master studied).

The thing that surprised me the most from the ritual was not, in fact, that I actually don’t hate the taste of matcha as much as I thought.

But rather it was the level of relaxation I experienced while watching her perform the ceremony.

Before she began the ritual of making the tea she explained the four tenants of a tea house:

• Harmony (和, Wa): Represents balance between the host, guests, and nature. It signifies harmony in the seasons, food, and utensils.
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• Respect (敬, Kei): Represents appreciation for others and the utensils, treating everyone as equals, regardless of social rank.
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• Purity (清, Sei): Refers to both physical cleanliness and a pure, unclouded heart and mind.
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• Tranquility (寂, Jaku): The inner peace and calm that results from practicing the first three principles.

She asked us to be fully present and allow ourselves to fully observe the ceremony and enjoy the sounds.

The silence as she held up each utensil.

The clinking of the ladle as she lifted the boiling water.

The whisking sounds as she stirred the matcha.

This abbreviated ceremony was about 30 minutes long and I’m pretty sure it was the closest thing to meditation that I’ve ever been able to experience.

My brain has been going a thousand miles an hour with the launch of the brand I’ve been working on, getting married, my pregnancy and just the sheer organization of raising three kids with a co-parent and step-parent.

Yet, in this moment, my brain was silenced.

I was consumed with the sounds and sights directly in front of me.

And it got me thinking……

How often am I allowing myself to fully embrace the somewhat mundane tasks in front of me?

So perhaps you will join me in finding more harmony, respect, purity and tranquility with a ritual every day?

Sound interesting?

Keep reading.
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♟️ YOUR TURN:

I’m very good at staying focused on work. Writing is the thing that allows me to become entirely immersed in the screen and thoughts in front of me.

But when I step out of my office?

Tiktok scrolls while making dinner.
Ordering groceries while going to the bathroom.
Checking school calendars at stop lights.

And some of this is inevitable with the sheer amount of cognitive load placed on working parents every day…..

however…..

I’m challenging myself to create one ritual every morning.

To leave my phone and fully immerse myself in the sounds and sights and smells of my morning breakfast routine.
The clinking of my nespresso pod. as I pull it from the cannister
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The sounds of the toaster as my gluten free bread pops up.

The smell of the freshly brewed decaf espresso.

We may not be able to stay in a tea house for hours to embrace a Buddhist-level of tranquility in our lives but I’m determined to find pockets of full presence in my day.

What is one thing you think you want to fully immerse yourself in during your day this week?

BOOK RECOMMENDATION ⬇️

My friend Amy Chan, called the "Scientific Carrie Bradshaw" by Good Morning America, just wrote a dating book I wish existed years ago.

It's called UNSINGLE: How to Date Smarter and Create Love That Lasts, and instead of the usual "just be yourself and it'll happen" advice, Amy created a diagnostic framework called the Dating Funnel that helps you pinpoint the exact stage where you keep getting stuck, whether that's not meeting the right people, fizzling after date two, or self-sabotaging right before commitment.

Hope this resonates with anyone navigating the dating world.

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