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Your Network = Your Net Worth

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Quick Spin:

• Why networking often feels gross...and how to do it better
• My favorite definition of community
• A step-by-step guide to building real relationships

🧩 Thanks for keeping Life's a Game Free!​​

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♟️ MY TURN:

Toxic Grit isn’t a success just because I worked hard. (I mean, I did work hard but that wouldn't have gotten it to best seller status alone....)

It’s a success because people showed up for me.

• Friends who posted the book without me asking.
• Podcast hosts who invited me on before they read a single word.
• Former coworkers who introduced me to the right editors or hosted events at their companies.

And yes....I had to actually put myself out there and ask for help.

But here's the thing...

Most of the help didn't come from cold networking connections.

These were people I've kept in touch with for years.

People who I have checked in with when I didn’t need anything. I sent voice memos when I saw they were going through something. I celebrated their wins like they were mine.

So when it was finally my turn to ask?

The trust was already there.

A lot of people get networking wrong.

Even the word itself feels transactional. “Be in my network” is just code for: “I’ll contact you when I need something.”

But community?
That’s different.

Community is built when you show up before it’s convenient. It's when you give without tracking what you’re getting back. It's when we remember that humans aren’t LinkedIn headshots……they’re living, breathing, emotional beings (likely going through their own shit).

I believe it’s more important than ever to have a community of people supporting you through the ups and downs and life yet it’s harder than ever in this current social media landscape.

And to all of those who have been that to me along the way....as I found myself a single mom of 3 kids under the age of 4....as I found myself moving to a new city with no friends or family....or as I shifted careers....

....I'm so thankful for you.
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WHY MOST PEOPLE AVOID NETWORKING
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​Let’s just say it: most people think they suck at networking but actually they just have a false view of what networking actually is.

Here are 4 reasons most actually struggle:

1. High Expectations
   ​People assume you need to be the most charismatic person in the room, deliver a TED Talk-level intro, and walk out with three job offers. Networking is just about connection. Instead of focusing on what they can do for you - focus on what you can do for them. Step 1: Just get curious about what they are working on or thinking about.
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2. Dislike of Superficiality
   ​This is my trigger. You’ve been to those events. Small talk about the weather and job titles. I want to skip the small talk and go deeper. Here are 3 questions to ask someone in a convo that will help you stand out:
   - What’s 1 thing that gave you energy this week?
   - Where would I find you when you are not working?
   - What would your younger self think about your life right now?
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3. Introversion and Social Fatigue
   ​For introverts, socializing = energy drain. This is why my networking is mostly 1:1 or small group. Networking doesn’t have to mean big events. It just means meaningful conversations.
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4. Perceived Inauthenticity​
   If it feels fake, you won’t want to do it, and scheduling a “touch base” can feel inauthentic but if you reframe this as just checking in on the human in hopes of seeing if you can support them in any way, it feels fruitful.
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   Fun fact: my new CMO role came out of one of these "just checking in" meetings.

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♟️ YOUR TURN:

Want to learn how to build community without feeling transactional or fake?
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Here’s my step-by-step framework for building real relationships in a digital world:

1. Connect Before You Need Anything

Relationships aren’t an emergency use-only button.

DM someone after they share a vulnerable post.
Send a congrats email when they land a big win.
Voice memo a note of encouragement….no agenda, just kindness.

Make deposits before you ever think about withdrawing.

Every few months I travel to NYC or LA and try to see as many of my contacts as possible. I keep a running list of people I want to keep in touch with.

Steal this message:
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“Hey (name)! It’s been a while since we’ve caught up. Looks like you are crushing it at (company). I’m going to be in your neck of the woods on (dates) and would love to reconnect and catch up on all things work and life!”

2. Be the Glue

Community and networking isn’t about scale at first….it’s about connection. Making yourself the connector builds credibility, trust and appreciation.

Start small:
- Host a Zoom coffee chat for folks in your niche.
- Create a group text for accountability.
- Introduce two people you admire to each other.

When I first moved to Miami I hosted monthly game nights at my home. People would show up for 2 hours, play Taboo, eat cheese and fruit and then leave. Now some of those people are coming to my wedding. Strangers becoming life friends.

3. Create a Shared Space

Eventually, it helps to have a place where people can show up for each other without you being the sole connector.

That’s why I moved my own community off Kajabi and onto Mighty Networks.

The more I networked, the more I realized there was an opportunity to being more and more portfolio career builders together.
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It’s cleaner. More intuitive. And way easier to manage and monetize without it feeling spammy.

Also: They handled my full migration.
(Yes, full white-glove service. Game changer.)

If you’re building anything where people matter, start here:
👉 Check out Mighty Networks

4. Show Up When It’s Their Moment

Comment. Cheer. Share. Celebrate.

You know how you want your friends to show up when you’re launching or navigating a life change? Be that person first.

And don’t fake it.

Realness goes further than relevance.

Thank you to everyone who showed up for me and is continuing to show up for me.
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TL;DR

In a world that feels so transactional right now, I hope this helps remove the ick from building deeper connections that will support you through the ups and downs of life.

XO,
Amanda

PS Don't forget to order the newly minted USA Today Bestseller - Toxic Grit: How to have it all and (actually) love what you have​
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