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Sucks? Build systems.

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Quick Spin:

• How Systems Keep me Sane
• My FAST System Creation process
• 5 Systems you can Steal today

♟️ MY TURN:

In case you missed it, there has been a lot of controversy around Chappell Roan’s comment on the Call Her Daddy podcast about motherhood and how miserable all her parent friends are.

I have a lot of thoughts about how we live in a country that makes it 100x more difficult for working parents but.....let's focus on what we can control for today's newsletter.

Anything hard can feel harder if you don’t have systems or support to tackle the work.

It’s funny.

After 7 years of raising babies/toddlers → grade schoolers as a single mom, I now have a partner. We share the workload of the home, school prep and everything in between.

And many times Dan will look at me and say “I have no idea how you did all of this by yourself.”

I have two things to say:

1. Survival is a powerful energy source. When no one is coming to save you, you find Olympic size swimming pools of strength you didn’t know you had.
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2. Systems are the only way I could function. Lowering the friction and cognitive load in my life kept me sane.

But most people over-complicate the idea of having systems.

THE 3 BENEFITS OF SYSTEMS

A system has 3 benefits:

1. It removes the need for motivation. Instead you know the system will run and the thing will just happen.

Guess what? I don’t always want to get up and write but my system gets me to do it.

2. It eliminates decision fatigue. The less you have to think about how, when and why you are doing something, the easier it becomes.

I don’t have the mental bandwidth to remember every tiny homework assignment, afterschool activity and clothing item needed. So I have a system to keep it all together.

3. Creates predictability. Success isn’t about one big action; it’s about small, repeated actions. Systems ensure you're consistently moving forward.

If you ask me what I am doing at 9:05 next Thursday, I will tell you I am on a run with my friend Brooke. The system is there so I don’t have to think about training for a race.

DO YOU NEED A SYSTEM?

I’ve created a simple acronym to decide where/when you need a system:

It’s called FAST system creation. (Because busy multi-hyphenates can’t do anything slow.)

F = FRICTION

Where in your life does there always seem to be a bit of friction or lack of motivation in a thing you want to accomplish.

Getting kids out the door?

Working on a project?

Dishes piling up?

Getting to the gym?

Once you identify the friction point. Proceed to the next step.

Let’s use a system that I implemented early in my single parenting days and it saved my sanity.

Friction point = Getting kids out the door on time, without a meltdown and not forgetting anything.

A = ASSESS

Next you must assess what your current process is and why does it fail?

What’s been missing.

Stressful mornings happened when the kids waited until the last minute to get dressed and I was scrambling to feed them AND find their clothes AND pack their backpacks all at the same time.

S = STRUCTURE

Set up a system to make it easier, whether through automation, delegation, batching, or habit stacking.

Every night we set an Alexa timer for 20 mins and use that time to lay out the clothes for the morning and pack backpacks.

Every morning, the kids see the clothes on the floor and get dressed before coming to the kitchen.

Every Sunday we make overnight oats in canisters for the kids to grab and eat. They eat those M/T and we have eggs on W/T and cinnamon rolls as our Friday treat. This system prevents them from complaining or questioning what is for breakfast.

T = TEST & TRAIN

Implement the system, tweak as needed, and train yourself (or others) to follow it consistently.

Some days the kids would bring the clothes out to the couch and watch tv. This led to a stressful sprint out the door. Once they start watching tv, they are zombies.

Then I would still have to get them to brush their teeth, hair and put on shoes. This led to a stressful exit.

So we added a 10 minute warning timer for teeth, hair, shoes.

When Alexa goes off, the kids shut off the tv and head to their bathrooms.

(If you are a parent and don’t use Alexa timers, please take my advice and start)

(If you are a non parent and don’t use Alexa timers, you should start as well)

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♟️ YOUR TURN:

What’s one area of your life that you struggle to gain motivation, momentum or it just takes up more time / stress than necessary?

Go through the F-A-S-T system creation and see if you build out more automated parts of hte process to reduce stress.

If you need more ideas, I’m sharing 5 other systems below.

My Gym System

When the clock strikes 8:30am, I’m working out. The kids are at school and it’s the time I guard my day for movement. I close whatever I’m doing and go fill up my water jug and head to the gym. Sometimes I go to my home gym, other times I meet up with someone else.

• Monday = Full body weights + treadmill workout
• Tuesday = Zoom Training session with my trainer
• Wednesday = Pilates
• Thursday = Run with a friend
• Friday = Yoga with a friend

I don’t have to think about ANY of the above. It’s now ritualistic. And this ritual reduces my ability to skip.

Systems are meant to reduce the need for motivation.

I’m on autopilot.
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​My Health System

Scheduling doctors appointments was always a headache. I could never remember when I (or the kids) needed to do something. It caused cognitive load and stress.

My simple system - whenever I go to the doctor, before I leave, I schedule a calendar entry in my calendar for when I need to schedule the next appointment.

Now I just wait until that meeting pops up and schedule it at that time. No more stress or worry.

My Deep Work System

Distracted and unable to make meaningful progress on work? Steal my deep work system.

• Shut down all tabs the night before.
• Write a post it with 1-2 things I’m going to work on.
• Wake up, make coffee, set timer and do those things.
• Everything else can wait.

My Fun System

As an adult, it can be hard to remember the last time you truly played. There is so much friction for adults trying to switch out of “adulting mode” and getting into play mode.

• Every year I plan a solo trip.
• Every quarter I plan a staycation with my partner.
• Every month I have 1 night out with friends.
• Every week I have a date night with my partner and game night with my kids.

I keep these like religion. This system ensures I don’t just “get through” life but actually enjoy it.

I want to try something - reply back with something you are struggling to build a system for and I will try to reply to as many as I can with ideas for how to build a system!

(crap - I don’t have a system for this! Oh well….let’s try it anyway because you got this far!)

XO
Amanda

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113 Cherry St #92768, Seattle, WA 98104-2205
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